If you are a mom who fails to treat herself or practice self care, raise your hand. *Raises both hands and a foot.* I’m right there with you ladies. Mom’s are extremely busy creatures who spend the majority of their time taking care of other people. Busy moms can feel more human.
It also never fails that on the day that you are at your frumpiest you will run into the perfect mom. The one that has her hair in perfect beach waves. Her face is perfectly contoured. Her child has no food on their face. Oh and did I mention they look like they spend 3 hours a day practicing yoga?
This happened to me recently at the store. I’m in my usual frumpy glory, no make up, mom ponytail, and I run into perfect mom. The one with the two kids to my one, but looks absolutely fabulous.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not bashing mom’s who can actually manage to look fabulous all the time. I own up to the low self esteem, laziness, and general “no fuck’s given” attitude. It’s just when I see a mom looking all sorts of gorgeous it really starts me on my “I should try harder,” kick.
So in an effort to try harder I’m listing all the little things you can do in order to make yourself feel more human.
Check out my post How To Be A More Balanced Mom.
How Busy Mom’s Can Feel Human
Get Ready For The Day
I mean get ready for the day like you used to in high school, when you used to go out with friends, or when you worked in corporate. Wake up and shower, do your hair, apply makeup, and put on real clothing.
You don’t have to do this everyday but at least shoot for twice or three times a week. Sit the kids down in front of the TV or with their tablets and spend 30-45 minutes beautifying yourself for the day.
By taking this time to put effort into your appearance you are boosting your self esteem. It’s for no one else but yourself. Just an extra 30 minutes in the morning to make yourself feel human.
Saturday Morning Is Your Time
Tell your husband it’s his turn and take 2 hours once a week to just spoil yourself. Get your nails done, dye your hair, give yourself a pedicure, and put on a mask. Those 2 hours will mean the world to you. You are a full time, plus overtime, mom, take a couple hours to yourself.
Indulge in a bad movie, a great book, or a long hot bath. Anything you can do to just wash away the stank of the kid and work filled week. This is your time, set it and mark it on your calendar. Nothing comes in the way of your time.
You are taking time to relax and recharge. How often do you feel like you are running on empty, like coffee needs to be pumped into you, or like you could just sleep for 6 hours straight and still go to bed at a decent hour? Taking 2 hours every week to just relax and recharge will go a long way to keeping you sane.
Get Some D
Vitamin D, go outside. Even if it’s just on your porch, you need to spend some time outside soaking in that sun. If you live in a cloudy, rainy, or cold climate a tanning booth for 10 minutes twice weekly will do wonders for you too.
The sun really helps to boost the mood. Since the warm weather hit I’ve been trying to get outside and spend more time in the sun. It’s really helped to boost my mood in the past couple of weeks.
Vitamin D has been proven to boost overall mood and reduce depression and anxiety. While it’s not a full blown cure for it, Vitamin D will go a long way to keeping your mood boosted.
Check out my post The Working Mom Guide to Spending More Time With Your Kids.
Even lazy girls can exercise. I do it at my desk. There are loads of ways a busy mom can get more exercise. Between walking, running at the park, doing yoga with the kids in the living room, or just morning and nightly stretching you can get in some exercise.
I do arm workouts while watching an episode or two of my latest Netflix binge. I do leg presses without the machine while I’m sitting on the sofa. When I do get 20-30 minutes of pure motivation to practice yoga my toddler does it with me. He really likes downward dog.
“Exercise gives you endorphins, endorphins make you happy, happy people don’t shoot their husbands.” – Elle Woods “Legally Blonde” For more on how endorphins and exercise can help to improve your mood and give you a better outlook on life you can read about it here on WebMD.
Plan Some Fun
Girls night, date night, or even get wine drunk on your sofa alone night for my introverts. Plan a night that is just purely for fun and laughs. These things are important to your overall sanity. It gives you something to look forward to and plan for.
It doesn’t need to be crazy it just needs to be fun. The point is to get you out of mom mode. You need time to relax, enjoy, laugh, and just be you.
Getting out of mom mode regularly can help you in all sorts of areas. Professionally, in your business, and even in your relationships. By focusing on the other areas of your overall personality you are more than just mom. Being more than just mom helps you to feel more like a human.
Check out my post 6 At Home Date Night Ideas That Don’t Suck.
Do something you’ve thought about doing but were too embarrassed, scared, or otherwise busy to do in the past. Don’t push anything off. Climb that mountain, take that class, learn a new skill.
Trying new experiences will give you a title more than just mom. While mom is still the most important title it’s ok to be mom/traveler or mom/fluent in another language or any number of experiences. You can be both and should find something more than just your mom tasks to fill your day.
Your kids are going to grow up, move out, and start their own families. What will be your fall back hobby then? What will you do when your kids are no longer dependant on you? Additionally, if the experience can include your kids that’s something they can look back on too.
It’s not always easy for moms to feel human, we have a lot on our plate and a lot counting on us. We are badass women who handle a hell of a lot of stuff all at the same time. Acknowledge that and make a pledge to yourself that you will do more for you.
If that means the kids are getting a little more screen time and better quality time with a mom who is refreshed then so be it. Your kids will see a relaxed, happier, and kinder mom. That’s what you want them to remember.
It’s ok to feel human as a mom. It’s ok to do less so you can feel more like yourself. You are mom for the rest of your life but they will only need you for about 23 years. After that, who are you? Don’t spend 23 years being mom then 2 years trying to figure out what you will do with the rest of your life. Enjoy it all now.
What do you do to feel more human every day? Follow me on Facebook for more posts like this and make sure you share this will all your mom friends.