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A few years back I read an article and a response article about why your husband should and shouldn’t be your best friend. Well I’m on the side of should be and today I want to show you why and how my husband is my best friend. As well as how you can turn your husband into your best friend too.
To be fair, I think it’s important for you to know that Rob and I didn’t meet in person first. We met on the now gone Google+. In fact, I have a huge amount of friends that I’ve met from Google+. While people loved to call it a graveyard and say how it never got used, for a long time it’s where my friends and I called home for social media.
Rob and I commented on each others posts, commented to each other on other peoples posts, and before we knew it we were talking on the phone. From the start, Rob and I had a connection and could talk very openly with each other about anything.
He quickly became a friend. Before I knew it, we fell in love. We supported each other, understood each other, and we shared enough in common and had open enough minds to at least try to enjoy things each other liked.
For instance he likes Magic: The Gathering and I have never had an interest in it. Well, he taught me how to play and now from time to time he pulls out his cards and we play.
I love Grey’s Anatomy, Rob on the other hand can barely stand the show. Yet, if it’s on he will watch it with me.
From failed marriages to now Rob and I both learned what it takes to make a relationship successful. We share the same viewpoints on that and discussed it early on in our relationship.
Going into this relationship we made a promise to each other that we would always communicate with each other. Which brings me to the first point in how your husband can be your best friend.
Communication is key in any relationship and it’s success. Not just romantically but even in friendships, family, and business relationships.
The part about communication where people often fall down is in the listening portion of communication. More than just listening you must comprehend what’s being said.
Rob and I work extremely hard to make sure that the point we are trying to get across is the clearest it can be. We word everything with care when we are discussing important decisions that need to be made.
Furthermore, we listen to each other and make changes as are necessary. Especially if those changes mean we can avoid a future argument.
Learn Each Other’s Love Language
Both Rob and I read the Five Love Languages long before we got involved in this relationship. We knew what our love languages were and what the other love languages needed.
I’m an acts of service with quality time as my secondary love languages. This means small things like making me coffee in the morning, folding the laundry, and just sitting with me on the sofa make me feel loved.
Rob is a touch with quality time as his secondary love language. This means hugs, kisses, back rubs, and time spent together makes him feel loved.
Understanding what makes each other feel loved and giving that to each other keeps our relationship going strong. These love languages work with children, family, and friends too while all slightly different.
Do Things Just The Two Of You
Rob and I don’t often get time just the two of us anymore. Doing things just the two of us requires our son to be in bed at a decent time and for us to still be awake.
When we do get time we will often watch a TV show together or play video games. Sometimes we break out Magic: The Gathering or a card game to play.
In the past it was going to opening night movies, out to dinner, or going hiking at a local park. This time spent together is so important because it provides opportunities to communicate.
Enjoy Time Together
The other night Rob and I sat down on the sofa and played “Try not to react.” The whole game is singing songs to each other and either trying not to bust out laughing or try not to sing along.
While it seems silly, something that gets noticed with games like this is how well you really know each other. We play games like this often with each other, which brings on laughter, and eventually more conversations.
Bounce Ideas Off Each Other
Bouncing ideas off each other is another way that you and your husband can become close. Be it fan theories of your favorite movies and shows or be it ideas for a business.
Rob and I do this with everything from politics all the way to Marvel fan theories. Anytime we have an idea we bounce it off with each other and discuss it. This is a great way to brainstorm, especially if you are running a business together.
Dream and dream big with each other. Jump on Zillow and find your dream house in a current location or a location far away from where you are.
Dream about vacations, dream about the kids leaving home to live on their own, dream about retirement. Dream about becoming a famous YouTube channel and living the digital nomad life.
Whatever it is, have dreams together. Because having dreams together means you could both work towards those dreams and make them a reality.
Push Each Other To Be Better
Grow with each other. When you are honest and have open communication with each other and yourselves it’s easy to help each other be better.
I have a yelling problem, one that I’m working on and one that has gotten so much better in recent months. That’s because Rob listened to what I needed, encouraged me, and helped me to get better about not yelling.
Rob has a focus problem from time to time. He just has a hard time focusing on things. So I listen to what he needs, offer tips, and help him in finding his focus.
In any relationship you should be pushing each other to be better. I will admit this really only works when both parties are deeply reflective and aware of their own issues though. It takes one party asking the other for help with an issue they know they have.
Agree To Disagree and Learn To Compromise
We don’t always have to agree on things. While most of the time we do because we have a lot of the same principles, values, and beliefs, we don’t always agree.
In times when we don’t agree we either agree to disagree or we compromise on the issue. We come up with a solution that while neither of us are happy we are both at least content.
This is a skill that every person needs to have in order to have any type of relationship.
Have Each Others Backs
I am a naturally loyal and protective person over the ones I love. Rob and I protect each other and back each other up often. Especially when it comes to certain family things.
When it comes to my son neither Rob nor I ever come down on the other during discipline or when we are giving our son a talk. We’ve agreed or compromised on every issue we could come up with when it came to our son.
We often sit down after he goes to bed to discuss new behaviors and how we might better handle them. This is because we know that we have to be a united force.
This goes for pretty much everything in our lives. We are partners and we act as such all the time.
My Husband Is My Best Friend
Even my best friends who are not my husband can tell you that in our relationship most of these things were done. So I can say pretty firmly that my husband is my best friend.
I wouldn’t want it any other way. I know everything there is to know about him and he knows everything there is to know about me. We’ve never kept anything a secret from each other. If there is something we don’t know, it’s because it hasn’t come up yet. One day it will.
I’ve learned after 5 glorious years with this man that we are going to face the ups and downs. If we keep doing what we are doing in our relationship we can get through anything. Part of that is because we’ve already been through some really dark and trying times, and we did it together.
Do you think your husband should be your best friend? Why or why not? Let me know in the comments below. Follow me on Pinterest for more like this and pin this to your favorite relationship boards.
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